Despite its lack of words it's still saying something. YOU'RE saying plenty to your mate without even speaking.
To help with your non verbal language here are 5 secrets to connect with your spouse, besides the obvious one, sex.
LOVE • LIVE • LEARN • LEAD
NURTURING THOSE WHO NURTURE
DISTINCT & DIFFERENT • IN HAPPY WAYS
Don't underestimate the non verbal. Despite its lack of words it's still saying something. YOU'RE saying plenty to your mate without even speaking. To help with your non verbal language here are 5 secrets to connect with your spouse, besides the obvious one, sex. 1. MAKE EYE CONTACT • Eyes say so much. That's if you're looking. So look. Really look at each other. In the eyes. When were mad at each other we often don't want to look at each other (unless it's glaring) because it can break down barriers. Sometimes we can't say something, or don't say it right. Looking into each other's eyes can communicate feelings without the barriers of words. There's intimacy in looking into someone's eyes with intent. 2. SMILE AT EACH OTHER • Smile at your spouse. A real smile. One that comes from the happy memories you share. Everything may not be perfect in your relationship but a genuine smile says that this is a pleasant or playful moment. Moments can add up. 3. LAUGH TOGETHER • Laughing isn't always preceded by speaking. Sometimes, it's something that just happened and you look at each other and just bust out laughing. Don't hold it in. Laugh. Men like women who laugh. If funny things aren't obvious, find comics, videos, or people watching to get you going. My husband and I laugh a lot, often in bed. (No reflection of what goes on there.) He often says he hopes that our kids hear us laughing together because it's a reflection of what we have together. 4. SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER • Find opportunities to sit next to each other. Restaurants. Church. Home. When you walk into a room go sit right next to your spouse, even if you have to displace someone else. You're a pair. It's the unspoken message to your spouse and everyone else in the room that you belong together. 5. MAKE BODY CONTACT • Without explaining all the biology, know that our brains like touch. Hand holding. Knee touching. Head resting. Random hugging. Back rubs. Leg wrapping. Something. Anything. Your body registers it and your brain files it. And your spouse feels it. BONUS • Do them all at the same time. On the hierarchy of relationships a spouse comes right after God. That's how important the bond is. In light of that, spending time strengthening that tie, with verbal and non verbal ways, is worth the effort. I'm always up for knowing more ways to connect with my spouse. What non verbal ways can you share?
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We love our kids. Alot. Because of this, sometimes we have a phenomenon among women with children - women forget they're wives. When a woman forgets she's a wife she forgets there's a husband. If that goes on long enough it opens the proverbial door for trouble. Here are 5 ways to make sure you're putting your man before the babies. In fact, it's much the same way we nurture babies that we nurture our relationship with our man. 1) FUSS - We fuss over babies. We think they're adorable, clever, delightful just being in the world. Men like to have attention too. Point out the things that are adorable, clever and delightful about him. Tell him. Fuss over him. 2) LAUGH - men like to hear women laugh. Especially women they love. I don't know why but they do. Let yourself laugh with him. 3) FIRST - Babies make a fuss so we'll take care of them. Now. Often times, babies can be so demanding that your spouse thinks they ALWAYS come first. One day babies and children leave the nest. Your spouse should have a place of priority. Once a baby's fussy needs are met they become content. Give your man security by placing him in the number one position in your life and you'll work more as a team. 4) TIME - We put in the necessary time with babies. They're dependent on us and when we don't put in the time needs are neglected. Your man needs time. Your time. Time says he's important and worthwhile. 5) WATCHFUL - we are watchful of babies and their needs. We try to be aware when they're tired, hungry, or need some time to play. Same goes for nurturing a husband. Watch for signs of his basic needs being met. We aren't the ones who always have to meet the need but we can take notice and help him meet his own essentials. These are such slight changes for most women but they can mean big changes in your spouse. Put your man before your babies, try it out.
1) Do acknowledge them Hello. Pretty simple. Talk to them when they come in. Show some interest. Get to know them. 2) Do show respect Grown up. Kids want to be treated like an adult, this is one area in which that works. 3) Do provide food Yum. Food always works. Feed them. Even let them have access to the kitchen. 4) Do be fun Duh. Do something unexpected from the normal routine. Be a little playful. 5) Do avoid confrontations Yield. This isn't the time to correct your kid. Do that later, where you can discuss. 6) Do remember them Notice. Names, siblings, & unique things about them. Also, how your kid knows them. 7) Do make it peaceful Zen. An environment that's void of contention makes a place people want to be. 8) Do leave a little space Exit. Give them some room. Not the bedroom. But, some talking space to be private. 9) Do like them Enjoy. Everyone has annoyances. Overlook them. See what your kid sees. Be open. 10) Do keep long hours Nap. It doesn't have to be 'open all night' but kids like late nights. Especially weekends. I always like a little extra. Bonus: Do treat them like family
Include. Everyone wants to belong. Somewhere. Make it you and yours that they think of as 'family' when they need to connect. How you interaction with your kid's friends, and your kid, will benefit everyone. |
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