Tradition defined: A long-standing, established pattern of repeated action
(or legend, custom, belief, thought, statement, etc.,)
practiced in one generation and likely passed down to other generations
Sometimes when you start something new in your family you don't know it's going to turn out to be a tradition. And you never know the impact. That's the way it was with our Valentine's tradition started about 20 years ago. I remember in Jr. High our school would let other students send secret admirer, single stemmed flowers to other students. Sometimes I'd get one but most of the time not. I didn't feel terrible but I'd always wished that I'd get one every time. When my kids were a little older I didn't want them to feel unloved or unnoticed on Valentines. I wanted them to know that I loved them. But, since it's a day for lovers I also wanted the Boyfriend to know I loved him first. My solution was to give the mornings to the kids and the evening to him. How to give the mornings to my kids when I wasn't too fond of early hours nor did I function well at that time of day. Can I say, "Really not a morning person?" Since I was always up after they went to bed, I hit upon the idea of putting a valentine treasure on the table to be there when they got up. That way even if they got up before me I wouldn't even have to be up yet for the celebrating to begin. Though I always did simple, small things (think Dollar Store finds) it was like a mini Christmas to them and it totally worked. But I didn't know then how much it worked. And I wouldn't know until my now adult children spoke of their happy associations with the holiday while many of their friends didn't have such positive feelings about Valentine's day. That "I don't have anyone special to spend the day with" syndrome didn't have the impact on them like it did on others. I was surprised at the unintended consequence. I was also grateful for it especially after my oldest daughter faced her 1st Valentine's day alone after the end of her 3 year marriage. I was anticipating a very depressing time for her. Though she didn't live with us I put a little surprise on the table and then sent her an early morning text photo of it. Later I talked with her and she was surprisingly upbeat. She said it was because her association of Valentines wasn't only about having "someone special" it was about being loved and she hadn't lost that. As a mom, you can bet at that moment that I was glad for the many years of our Valentine's tradition. So, what are some of your Valentine's Day traditions?
6 Comments
Janae
1/17/2015 03:21:21 am
I grew up with a similar feeling about Valentines Day, because my mom always made it so fun. I remember dropping off secret valentines to my cousins, and receiving crafty homemade valentines on my bed when I got home from school. We didn't have a set tradition every year, but I always knew she would do something special. Now I look forward to the holiday with anticipation, because I get the same joy in surprising others with something I've created to make them feel loved. You're absolutely right, it's kind of like a mini Christmas!
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1/17/2015 12:58:56 pm
Janae, you didn't have a "set" routine every year but you definitely had a tradition of love though. Love the secret valentines to the cousins. I really like that. We may have to do something like that with Joseph. Thanks for sharing your life.
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Brenda Moberly
1/17/2015 04:18:15 am
Valentine's Day is one of my all time favorite holidays, I don't think of it as just a sweetheart day, I consider it a day to celebrate the love we have for others. So everyone in my immediate family gets gifts, goodies, balloons, etc. If I have my act together I make special Valentine Cards with a photo of my husband and I and a poem, and send it to family and friends we are close to. I love going to "Party City" and get their special $1 Valentine Balloons and secretly give them to people and decorate my house with them. I think anything people do to show they care is the right thing to do. I don't like to lock myself into thinking I can only show love a certain way, often I cook for others throughout the year, especially when they're sick, they know they are loved even by just texting a message or anything. NO ONE WANTS to be forgotten or neglected like you stated in your comments with high school flowers being given out. Seeing people disappointed or feeling unloved is worse, much worse than receiving something, I'd rather do without than see other's feel unloved.
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1/17/2015 01:06:10 pm
Brenda, love that your Valentines were so fun. Agreed that loving shouldn't be just one time of year. And anything can be done. It's been fun to read what others like you have been doing all their lives.
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