This is a post no mother (father, sister, brother, spouse...) wants to write. Writing it makes it even more real. And the realness of it hurts my heart. 

My daughter Leila died this month. 

I'd like it to all go away - the middle of the night phone call; the realization that something was very wrong; the birth of her child a month early; a devastated spouse; her father far away in the middle of the ocean; doctors, nurses and tests; understanding a blood hemorrhage on the brain stem; the week in intensive care; the baby in newborn intensive care; organ matching and donating; a grieving family; and a funeral. And that is just the beginning.

Obviously it's effected our family deeply. My emotions are raw and I'm at a loss on several levels. Leila's my daughter and my friend. The phrase 'a heart breaking to pieces' is no longer a metaphor for me. It was and is very real. 

As LDS members, we know of the Plan of Salvation, have an understanding of Eternal Life, and that our family can be together again. But for now, it hurts. 

Leila was a part of LDS NEST and her being gone effects what happens here. I've changed. Alisha's changed. We need time to figure out what that feels like and what it looks like for LDS NEST. The one decision we could make is that we will stop with our monthly Newsletter and Notes for a time. I'd like to be able to give more detail about what that means for the subscription but I don't know. I just know we need time. 

We're likely to still post on this blog. It will help us. Maybe it'll help you too. 

Lastly, know that the Lord has worked through so many good, good people with a remarkable outpouring of love for our family. We've not been left alone. There's more on my mind and heart that I want to share but for now this is all I can do. 

Our July Issue is ready today for our LDS Nesties. Fun celebrate summer ideas. Not a member yet? Join up here. Here's a peek at some of the sections of the Newsletter & Notes.

Our June Newsletter & Notes are out. If you're not a subscriber yet we'd like to blatantly tempt you with a sneak peak at what we've included in this month's issue.

If we've tempted you to join here's the link. If not, let us know below what would get you to join. 

PS - We'll keep trying

1  You'll Only Have One Stop 
Your time is valuable. When you Subscribe you don't have to go looking all over the internet for the things you need, when you need them. We cover a lot of things so this will be your go to LDS lifestyle source.

2 You'll Have Files Stored for You 
It's hard to keep track of things so we pay for a place to keep all the ideas. (One of the reasons we ask that you pay.) Our issues are packed with photos and detailed instructions which create large files. When you Subscribe you won't have to store all that content on your computer.

3 You'll Have the Ideas Before Anyone Else Will
When you Subscribe you'll get original ideas and be the first ones to get them. We hold back the ideas from our blog for at least 6 months up to a year. When we finally send them out in our blog or ebooks you'll already be on to our new ideas.

4 You'll Be in a Private Place
When you Subscribe you have a private place to gather. You're not bombarded with dialog or dissension that distract you from what you do or how you want to feel.

5 You'll Have Ideas to Help You Lead
We serve a lot in the church. When you Subscribe we share with you leadership and service ideas that are usually adaptable to whichever Auxiliary you serve in. 

When you Subscribe to our content, you'll realize we're not just another blog. We're distinct and different and you'll be delighted and inspired every month with the ways we bridge the gap between Relief Society and Real Life. Want to join us? Subscribe here. We'd love it if you did.

Another example of what we do at LDS NEST. Here's a PERSONAL GIFT HUNT IN A BOX. It might come in handy for Easter but you can use it for anything.