For my New Year's Resolution Word, RESET, I will do things throughout the year to make reminders for myself. I'm kinda creative that way. And distracted. So I need reminders. Last year's BRAVE was making a subway art for myself. It hung in the hall at first then I moved it to my beside.

It doesn't have its permanent place yet since it's still sitting on the bookshelf next to my bed. But, I loved seeing it and having that tangible reminder.

But on to this year - RESET. I picked up a bracelet at Michaels the other day. (For the life of me I can't remember who makes these. You can tell this isn't a sponsored post, can't ya.) They're individual letters that slide on a bracelet. And they were on sale, $10 total. With a little bling as a bonus.

I don't have any set thing that I plan to get, make or use for a reminder. I just let it come to me. And walking past those little, sparkly letters... they just jumped out and said, "RESET!" So, that's my first reminder for the year. Thank you to myself. 

Do you get, make, or use reminders for your word?

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Look what I got today. I talked about it here. Just wanted to share that I love it. Choose to be happy!

Alisha did a graphic design "Kind Words" here and put it to a t-shirt. It made me think that I wanted to have Leila's words, "I Choose to be Happy" and Alisha's design on a t-shirt so I could order it. Alisha did it for me. (Thanks Alisha) When I went to look at it I saw these other things. 

But then I saw this pillow and decided that I wanted this instead. 

Not that you have to buy anything. I just thought I'd share because it made me happy.

Baby Joseph's Dad, Sky, called me today to share something Leila wrote. He found it on her iPad and it touched him. It was her mother wishes she wanted for Joseph. I don't know if she was finished with her list but it was enough.

The reality is that Joseph will never know Leila in this life and will have another mother to raise him. He'll be caught up in life and won't have a need to know her. But I suspect many years from now, likely when he's an adult, he'll wonder. He might be drawn to a few of the mementos that connect directly to her. They might give a glimpse of who she was and how she thought. Maybe he'll see a little of himself in her.

So today I spent some of my time putting her words into design for him.

Maybe I'm sharing too much. I don't know. There's no manual for these sorts of things. But it helps me. Here are Leila's last thoughts on Pinterest.

We get an email when someone has an interaction with us on Pinterest. We get one even when it's one of us that pins from our personal accounts. Aug 4th-5th was the night/morning that Leila went into the hospital and the last time she was conscious. When I saw an email saying Leila had "liked" something from LDS NEST's Pinterest boards I took note of the date. It was the 4th. I took note of the time, it was 10:10 pm, about 5 hours before her last words.

Since her passing, there's a need to connect with Leila any last little ways I can. I wondered what she'd been thinking as some of her last thoughts so I clicked through to the pin. Here's what it was. 

This is such a bittersweet tug on my heart. It does me good to know these were some of her last thoughts. And maybe she unknowingly left a little message of choosing to be happy by daring to be bold, making it happen, and being unforgettable. This was so Leila. She may have "liked" it but she really lived it also.

This is a post no mother (father, sister, brother, spouse...) wants to write. Writing it makes it even more real. And the realness of it hurts my heart. 

My daughter Leila died this month. 

I'd like it to all go away - the middle of the night phone call; the realization that something was very wrong; the birth of her child a month early; a devastated spouse; her father far away in the middle of the ocean; doctors, nurses and tests; understanding a blood hemorrhage on the brain stem; the week in intensive care; the baby in newborn intensive care; organ matching and donating; a grieving family; and a funeral. And that is just the beginning.

Obviously it's effected our family deeply. My emotions are raw and I'm at a loss on several levels. Leila's my daughter and my friend. The phrase 'a heart breaking to pieces' is no longer a metaphor for me. It was and is very real. 

As LDS members, we know of the Plan of Salvation, have an understanding of Eternal Life, and that our family can be together again. But for now, it hurts. 

Leila was a part of LDS NEST and her being gone effects what happens here. I've changed. Alisha's changed. We need time to figure out what that feels like and what it looks like for LDS NEST. The one decision we could make is that we will stop with our monthly Newsletter and Notes for a time. I'd like to be able to give more detail about what that means for the subscription but I don't know. I just know we need time. 

We're likely to still post on this blog. It will help us. Maybe it'll help you too. 

Lastly, know that the Lord has worked through so many good, good people with a remarkable outpouring of love for our family. We've not been left alone. There's more on my mind and heart that I want to share but for now this is all I can do. 

Our July Issue is ready today for our LDS Nesties. Fun celebrate summer ideas. Not a member yet? Join up here. Here's a peek at some of the sections of the Newsletter & Notes.

Our June Newsletter & Notes are out. If you're not a subscriber yet we'd like to blatantly tempt you with a sneak peak at what we've included in this month's issue.

If we've tempted you to join here's the link. If not, let us know below what would get you to join. 

PS - We'll keep trying

1  You'll Only Have One Stop 
Your time is valuable. When you Subscribe you don't have to go looking all over the internet for the things you need, when you need them. We cover a lot of things so this will be your go to LDS lifestyle source.

2 You'll Have Files Stored for You 
It's hard to keep track of things so we pay for a place to keep all the ideas. (One of the reasons we ask that you pay.) Our issues are packed with photos and detailed instructions which create large files. When you Subscribe you won't have to store all that content on your computer.

3 You'll Have the Ideas Before Anyone Else Will
When you Subscribe you'll get original ideas and be the first ones to get them. We hold back the ideas from our blog for at least 6 months up to a year. When we finally send them out in our blog or ebooks you'll already be on to our new ideas.

4 You'll Be in a Private Place
When you Subscribe you have a private place to gather. You're not bombarded with dialog or dissension that distract you from what you do or how you want to feel.

5 You'll Have Ideas to Help You Lead
We serve a lot in the church. When you Subscribe we share with you leadership and service ideas that are usually adaptable to whichever Auxiliary you serve in. 

When you Subscribe to our content, you'll realize we're not just another blog. We're distinct and different and you'll be delighted and inspired every month with the ways we bridge the gap between Relief Society and Real Life. Want to join us? Subscribe here. We'd love it if you did.

We're a family. One dad. One mom. Eight kids. Four spouses. Two grandkids. Another on the way.
Three in the family, Shannon, Leila, and Alisha, are directly involved in LDS NEST. But as with any project in this family, everyone is enlisted. We'll each say a little about ourselves, but first, more about LDS NEST.

Our choice of the LDS lifestyle is lofty. And visionary. The Church gives us that view of what we want, and eventually, can be. The world points us down to earth. And it's gritty. Sometimes, it's downright dirty. We're not to reconcile the two, we're to aim for the one while overcoming the other. To make it even more interesting, family is the main place where we test it all out. It's tricky business. Very tricky. 

It's hard to head for something that you don't necessarily see. At times we have need to be shown the bridge between the heavenly and the earthly and we need wings to help us reach the heights to get a bird's eye view of that bigger picture. The reality is that sometimes it's hard to do and we need to be nurtured in the ways of LDS womanhood.

LDS NEST is an attempt to share ways and strengthen women as we take the principles we learn in Relief Society and put them into practice in real life. For many of us Nesties, our strongest desires are toward our family. That's the Genius of the Lord, to place us where we will use whatever heart, might, mind, and strength we have, to its fullest potential, and do things for our loved ones that we may never be inclined to do for ourselves. In the process, we become some pretty fine chicks.

We have a base of shared sisterhood to start from. A big, broad LDS NEST to work within. It's here that we, Shannon, Leila, and Alisha, want to combine and contribute our efforts to add a twig here and a branch there as we LOVE, LIVE, LEARN, and LEAD in our very own LDS NESTS.

If you want to know details about us, the page here.

We, LDS NEST, share a birthday. March 17th. We share it with the Relief Society (1842). And all of our sisters. Lucky us. (We kinda planned it that way. We like the company.) Today we all celebrate and here's a reminder of what the Relief Society stands for. 

We definitely have things in common!