Don't underestimate the non verbal.
Despite its lack of words it's still saying something. YOU'RE saying plenty to your mate without even speaking.
To help with your non verbal language here are 5 secrets to connect with your spouse, besides the obvious one, sex.
Despite its lack of words it's still saying something. YOU'RE saying plenty to your mate without even speaking.
To help with your non verbal language here are 5 secrets to connect with your spouse, besides the obvious one, sex.
1. MAKE EYE CONTACT • Eyes say so much. That's if you're looking. So look. Really look at each other. In the eyes. When were mad at each other we often don't want to look at each other (unless it's glaring) because it can break down barriers. Sometimes we can't say something, or don't say it right. Looking into each other's eyes can communicate feelings without the barriers of words. There's intimacy in looking into someone's eyes with intent.
2. SMILE AT EACH OTHER • Smile at your spouse. A real smile. One that comes from the happy memories you share. Everything may not be perfect in your relationship but a genuine smile says that this is a pleasant or playful moment. Moments can add up.
3. LAUGH TOGETHER • Laughing isn't always preceded by speaking. Sometimes, it's something that just happened and you look at each other and just bust out laughing. Don't hold it in. Laugh. Men like women who laugh. If funny things aren't obvious, find comics, videos, or people watching to get you going. My husband and I laugh a lot, often in bed. (No reflection of what goes on there.) He often says he hopes that our kids hear us laughing together because it's a reflection of what we have together.
4. SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER • Find opportunities to sit next to each other. Restaurants. Church. Home. When you walk into a room go sit right next to your spouse, even if you have to displace someone else. You're a pair. It's the unspoken message to your spouse and everyone else in the room that you belong together.
5. MAKE BODY CONTACT • Without explaining all the biology, know that our brains like touch. Hand holding. Knee touching. Head resting. Random hugging. Back rubs. Leg wrapping. Something. Anything. Your body registers it and your brain files it. And your spouse feels it.
BONUS • Do them all at the same time.
On the hierarchy of relationships a spouse comes right after God. That's how important the bond is. In light of that, spending time strengthening that tie, with verbal and non verbal ways, is worth the effort.
I'm always up for knowing more ways to connect with my spouse. What non verbal ways can you share?
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